Falling in love over and over with the same person

Those who have been married for a while.  Have you ever noticed that in marriage sometimes over the years you find yourself not as in love with the person you married?  Personally I like my husband but I get critical and start to doubt how much I care for him.  I usually don't let that get too far.  I start a list in my head of all of the loving things he does for me and our daughter.  The things I admire about him and I appreciate that I genuinely like him.  I can go back and forth to try and remind myself how blessed that I am to have him in my life.  I do get ornery with him and often he will basically tell me to knock it off.  I appreciate that. 

Lately I have had some horrible side effects from a medication that I took for the IVF that I am having done.  It has created monstrous mood swings along with other side effects.  I feel so horrible for our little girl.  She has been home alone with me through these nasty mood swings.  I have been incredibly irritable.  Since she is only four she can be very irritating which triggers my anger and I have been so hard on her.  I was explaining my side effects to the IVF coordinator today.  One of the things I mentioned is how terrible I feel that my daughter is baring the brunt of these moods and I hate it.  I try so hard to rationalize things going on in my head.  She asked if I was rotten to my husband as well.  I told her that I haven't been bad with him but I know he will tell me where to stick it.  Then I went on to tell her that when I was pregnant with our daughter I felt very aggressive but never at my husband.  She said that is so odd.  Usually women take it out on their husbands.  I explained to her that I felt safe with him as he would give me my shots that were to stop me from losing my baby (this is how my mind viewed those shots and him caring for me).  I had two prior miscarriages and I wanted to have a baby so badly.   So I didn't want to lose him or make him upset, needed his love.  She said that was very smart of you.  He was my support and cared when I knew others might not.  It is interesting how I am starting to feel that way about him again.  Even though I have been literally insane for a day or two he has been so kind.  When he comes home he makes sure to be extra kind and loving to both of us.  I forget sometimes how safe and secure he makes me feel.  I feel like I am falling in love all over again.  I know, I know it is probably a lot of the hormones that they have been pumping into me.  I am grateful for him and that he steps up to the plate when I need him the most.  I wish I would not become complacent over time and forget to treat him with the respect and love that he deserves.   Why is marriage a bit like a roller coaster with all of it's ups and downs?  One minute you are in love and another you begin to just get a little lost in the day to day things in life.  One thing that I am grateful for is that over all I really do like my husband (most days) and he feels like home to me.  He always seems to love me even when I don't deserve it.  I wonder sometimes what makes him love me.   It is a curious thing how I can fall in love with my husband over and over.  I wonder how many times that will happen over the years throughout our marriage. I hope that it happens often.  I have watched other couples through the years.  Some of them mostly older people seem like their relationship has like a little magic spark that seems to keep them in love.  You can see it in the way they look at one another.  There are so many unhappy couples.  People that I thought have decent marriages but now they are starting to fall apart.  I am grateful to have a husband who really loves and cares for me.   I am so sad when I see or hear of others who can't find a way to love their spouse.  We all want that wonderful happy marriage.  The thing is there are times when we have lows and things can be a little rough.  They key is to find a way to fall in love again.  I understand that it takes both people and sometimes there isn't much you can do if the other person isn't willing.  I remember as a child listening to a sermon in church one Sunday.  He said that he and his wife were not doing well in their relationship.  They were discussing divorce.  He was praying to God one day and he heard God say,  "Orange juice!"  Orange juice, what in the world?  What was he to do with that?  So he decided that he would try it out.  Every morning he got up early before his wife and would make fresh orange juice and set the glass beside the bed on her night stand.  He did this for quite some time.  After a while he noticed that his wife was starting to warm up to him.  They were beginning to talk and get along.  One day she asked him how she knew that she adored fresh orange juice.  Finally he told her that God told him, "orange juice."  They were able to rekindle their relationship and it all started with orange juice.  That was how he was able to get his wife to fall in love with him again.  I pray that all of my friends find their orange juice over and over again throughout their marriage. 

the little girl-by John Micheal Montgomery with lyrics in the descriptio...

I hadn't heard this song in a long time and was listening to the words after dropping my daughter off at pre-school.  I am so grateful my child doesn't have to experience this.  I do love the ending of this story.  I cried and cried listening to it. 
I remembered Jesus dreams would help me through nightmares during my childhood thanks to a pastor who taught me when I would wake up with a bad dream to think of Jesus.  I would imagine him laughing, holding my hand and playing with me.  This would help me fall back asleep and have wonderful dreams.